if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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