I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
no you cant smoke seaweed
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
