Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
