WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
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i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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