i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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