My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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