the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
