Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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