I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
