My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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