wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
