Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
