If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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