i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
