I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
