It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
