I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
foreskin is a definite game changer
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
