her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
