U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He shit in the fireplace
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize