One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize