Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's never too late to be topless.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
