Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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