I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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