if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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