just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize