My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
