Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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