so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
