Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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