I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
