I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
