well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
