I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
