Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
