I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize