she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize