I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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