I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
