puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
