Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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