marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
