I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
