this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
