I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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