We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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