I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
