You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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