I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She bit a glass in half.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize