I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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