He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
