Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
