He is like the real live version of the state fair..
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize