He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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