Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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