I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
