i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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