his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
