i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
