once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
