well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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