he shaved USA in his pubs
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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