i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
